he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize