he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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