guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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