And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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