I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
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We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
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And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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