I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
