i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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