She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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