Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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