Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
