I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he puts the penis in happiness.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
