you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
