i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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