yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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