Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
