the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
