it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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