My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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