Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
