i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
