i think my mom watched the whole time
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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