I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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