i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
