She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
