Don't you send me to vm
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
