His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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