Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
