Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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