Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
