halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
