I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
