North Korea, Best Korea!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
