The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
