Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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