He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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