I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize