My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I touched a dick in church today
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
