You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
