And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
