dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
