Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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