I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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