dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize