we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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