My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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