Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
