Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
