never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
