its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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