she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
