Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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