Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
