What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
