my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
