Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
