it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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