well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
