This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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