i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
