Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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