i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
