put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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