From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
